Hackbright - the Last Official Week

So, we've finished up our projects. We've had our Career Day where we pitched ourselves as engineers to a bunch of different companies. Now, we have to find jobs. The last part is easy, right?

Ha!

I'm not really sure what to write today. Yes, Marlene of the many words is at a loss. All I know right now is that I don't want to commute anymore. I've been told not to limit my job choices by location, but I think that is bullshit. Why did I even try Hackbright if I didn't think it would get me a job closer to home? I've been told that sacrifices have to be made if I want to get where I want to go. I think that I've sacrificed enough. I'm not twenty-something anymore and I do NOT want to have a commute longer than one hour one way.

What do I want to do? No idea.

For right now, I just want to get my app to send a prettier email. I want to rebuild my database so I can deploy my app (POSTGRES, here I come!). And, I want to finish up my pottery commissions.

And I want my freaking internet to not suck as much as it has sucked in the last 2 days.

I'm sure I'll write something more positive in the days to come. Right now, I'm going through this whole: you've accomplished something awesome! What's next??? Get a job! or Accomplish something else!

Oh, and I'm going to apply to a company that has an interesting product and a job that I can totally do. It's just that it's in SF and has a very "bro" culture right now (most of the engineers are from HackReactor... also, no female engineers).

Should be interesting

Mock presentation is done. Here! Look at some screen caps :D

Why was I nervous? Why could I not remember my narrative? Sigh...

Ok, so here are a few things I need to remember when I present:

1. Talk about my whole background, not just pottery. Remember to talk about UCLA and my math degree. Also, remember to talk about my time as a 3d Artist. Then, the pottery as a way to get into my project.
2. Demonstrate different parts of GlazeHub.
   • Point out the list of User Recipes
   • Show my Data Model Screen Cap (talk about Clay Planet)
   • Demonstrate Add Recipe Function
   • Demonstrate Edit Recipe Function
   • Show the Order page, and hit email - show email sent screen cap! 
3. Make sure to say that Glaze Hub will be deployed and that the application is up the the specifications that the CEO of Clay Planet described.

Aside from all that, it was a great feeling to have Dan tell me that he thinks my app is a strong product. Huzzah!

Oh, here are some screen caps:

Data Model

The Welcome Page

  

The Login Page

 

The Index Page

The Enter Recipe Page (for non-logged in users). 

Looks about the same as the Add Recipe Page for logged in users

A Saved Recipe Page... Look! You can calculate a batch size in kilos or pounds!

The Ordering Page... You can even send a message with your order

I'm pretty excited that this is a viable app. Next step: trying to deploy it and make sure that the numbers I've added up are added up and multiplied and stuff, correctly!

MVP is done!

Yes. I have accomplished what I set out to do. My Glaze Hub application is running. It's not deployed yet, but it will be soon. Hopefully, by the end of the week.

Now, just because I have my MVP (minimum viable product) done, doesn't mean I am done with Glaze Hub. There area few things left that I want to do:

1. Add a Facebook/Twitter/Instagram or Pinterest login feature
2. Allow users to upload photos
3. Encrypt the passwords
4. Set up a retrieve password function
5. Set up PayPal or other such payment system.

Seems like a lot, doesn't it. Honestly, I don't think it is considering what I started with and what the application has ended up being.

In terms of technologies, well, I used what I feel to be very basic tech. Python, JavaScript, JSON, HTML, CSS, Bootstrap, SQLAlchemy. None of this feels very advanced to me, but it was a lot. So many pages of HTML, 4 Python scripts, one JavaScript script. It was a lot.

I think I need to look at my code to see where I can consolidate and refactor, make it prettier and cleaner. Eventually, I'll have to change the code to make it more efficient too. Especially the update function on the recipes.

How am I feeling? Well, I'll have to let you know tomorrow. I signed up to give my presentation first. At 10 am. I have to draw up my data model. Make it pretty and use the Glaze Hub header. Oh, maybe I should screen cap that and write it up. Or, I can do it tomorrow when I get to Hackbright. I'm kind of leaning toward that as I just want to do nothing tonight.

Wednesday is Career Day. I'm not nervous. Yet. I am sure I will be as the day gets closer. But, for right now, I'm not.

I'm kind of wondering what kind of app to make next. Maybe I'll try to make a JavaScript game. That might be fun. I think I'll take my JavaScript book with me to HB tomorrow so I can study up on that and clean up my app a bit. Get a better handle on Bootstrap and such.

Also, I shall start thinking up some designs for some clay. I think I can finally make some new pieces for the next firing this week, especially after Career Day.

I get to do art again. Can't wait.

Nearing the end...

Project project project. I haven't been blogging because I've been too busy trying to get my project working.

Bits and pieces work. Bits and pieces do not work. Some things are happening (like if I use the same name on a recipe, it remembers what I had before and adds those old components to the new ones. Go figure). So much to debug.

And next week is Thanksgiving. We have 3 days to finish up with the help of instructors. The holiday where I hope to be working on just the cosmetics of my app. Two more days of help with a lecture on salary negotiation thrown in.

No, not panicking yet.

Here's what works:

• The login/logout
• The calculate recipe components if you are logged in

What is partially working (like more than 50%)

• The add recipe and add components page(which is one page)

What is partially working (less than 50%)

• The calculator page

 What else needs to be done:

• Adding the price quote
• Adding an order button
• Saving the recipe if you are in the calculator page and are logged in. Although, why you would not just be in the add recipe page if you are not logged in is beyond me. I might just not add that save feature
• Editing the recipe and comments
• Encrypting the password
• Debugging the crap out of this app!

 Ok. Some of that I will be able to do tomorrow. I think the price quote isn't too hard. That is all backend. Also, I just need to figure out where to place the quote with the Clay Planet logo... dear God, I hate front end. The rest of it is mostly variations of what is  already there and I need to figure out how to adjust them. I think that once I figure out how to keep the data from the option menus on the Calculate page, I'll be able to get the edit recipe page done. Then, it will be a matter of saving the recipe as a new recipe or overwriting it.

I can do this...
Right?

Project Week 3 Day 1

Today was a Bootstrap day and it was good. I managed to get most of my pages from the crappy looking CSS I had turned into a lovely bit of Bootstrap. The pages look good and less like an early 90s POS.

Even got excited enough to work on it more when I got home.

AND then, about the time I was ready to go to bed, wanted to send some screen caps to Matt and Isabelle... the login started to fail.

And I have NO idea why. It just failed. I traced the problem to the app not logging people in. I bet it had something to do with "session". About 30 minutes to an hour later, the damn thing started to work again. This was after I looked over code again and again, added testing print statements all over the palce, and quit/restarted. Talk about pulling my hair out.

I have NO idea why.

So the postive lesson today: I like Bootstrap
The negative lesson today: stupid things go wrong all the time.

Tomorrow, we have field trip to Intuit. It's in Mountain View, so I get to sleep in a bit. Yay! At any rate, I have to fix up one more page into Bootstrap, and then I have to start on the Javascript side of things.

1. I need to check that the component percentages add up to 100 and send an alert if it doesn't.
2. I need to adjust the weights to lbs/kilos.
3. I need to adjust the weights in case the percentages do not add up to 100
4. I need to be able to add more components dynamically instead of having a bunch of dropdown menus
5. Speaking of drop down menus, I need to get those to be fill-in forms as well as drop downs, but I think I found a help page that will show me how to do that in JavaScript.
6. I need to get the upload photo thing going
7. Need to get the comments/notes thing going
8. Most importantly, I need to get the Clay Planet price quote/message thing going. Uneditable message to CP.
9. Also, it was suggested that I add in a PayPal or Stripe payments thing going.
10. Encrypting the passwords
11. Resetting passwords

9 things to do. One week and about 3 days to do that in of which 2 of those days are going to be "vacation" because of Thanksgiving. And do the testing. Yeah... I can do it.

Not sure if that last bit was sarcastic or sincere...

Oh yeah... a few more things... the italicized stuff above. I should go to sleep before the list grows any longer.

Project Day... It's Saturday, do I have to count it?

I took a mental health day yesterday and caught up on a bunch of tv shows. Yea, not the best use of my time. However, I did crack open the Bootstrap book and did some of the exercises.

What I have learned so far:

• "href-"css/bootstrap.min.css" != "href="css/bootstrap.min.css"
• I make a lot of typing errors when copying code
• It is very difficult to catch the above typing errors
• Bootstrap's grid system makes sense to me
• I like drawing boxes and figuring out what goes in them
• Also, I realized that I need to figure out how wide each column is and need to calculate that.

So, Bootstrap is ok to use. I need to learn more, but now, I have an idea of how to set things up. Theoretically. I'm at my parents' house where we shall celebrate an early, family-Thanksgiving. I'm reading more about Bootstrap and I can't wait to get to designing/building my app which I think shall look like some old style web page but Bootstrap-y too.

I also think I need to start going to some of these hackathons and see if I can network, get better. Group of Hackbrighters took part in the LinkedIn DevelopHer Hackathon and took 2nd place. Good for them!!!

This week, we shall have a field trip to Intuit. Let's hope I feel more inspired or feel like I'll be able to get a tech job after that field trip.

Project Day 8

I didn't post yesterday because I was completely occupied with getting the log in to work. Aaaand, it works!

Today, I worked on getting the password function to work aaaaaaaand, it does! Surprisingly, that part went really fast. It got me worried about my project being too easy and so on and so forth.

But, then, I started working on getting the components of recipes to show up. I also got to listen to two women from Firebase talk about their product. Might be a good way to deploy my app once it's done.  Got the components to show up and then started working on the adjusting the batch size (basically, multiplying batch size by the percentages of the components of the glaze). Yeah... that didn't work by the time I left, but I got it to work when I got home. Learned that if you have set a variable to be a Component(), change one of the attributes in the variable, it changes it in the original component too. Not sure why. Will have to ask tomorrow.

Finally, had to use a list to get the numbers to work right and not change the original percentages.

Didn't use jQuery, only Python and HTML. Frankly, I don't even remember what jQuery even does right now. I think I'll have to read up on that.

But first, Bootstrap. Maybe. I'm just annoyed because my pages look like shit. I must make them look better!!! Cooler!!! and so forth.

I ate a huge breakfast, huge lunch and huge dinner. On top of that, I had lots of candy to stay awake on the drive in. I also bought mini Reese's peanut butter cups and peanut M&Ms... no, not that time of the month yet, but soon, I'm sure.

Got on the scale, which was a mistake and a wake up call. Ugh... Starting Monday, back to trying to do no-carbs and no dairy (except for my morning Mac & Cheese). Also, I'm going to try weaning myself off of coffee again. I'm going to go from 3 sugar cubes down to 2 and then 1. I did buy the unsweetened Almond Milk, so that should help. And yes, I'm going to try to do the no sugar thing too. Dammit, I have all that jam! Well, we'll see what I can do. Hopefully, I can cold-turkey it and figure out what to do with all that lovely jam... No, I'm not going to throw it out. I'm going to eat it somehow. Maybe if I limit the amount I eat. Grrrrrr...

Need more sleep. Tonight, I'm going to have lights of by 11:30 or sooner. If I got more sleep, I wouldn't need as much coffee. So, fingers crossed I can get through this and start losing some weight. Oh, going to try my best to go to the gym tomorrow night. I need it.

Project Day 6

CSS hates me. HTML is slowly coming around. And Sublime, the glorious text editor is a frenemy.

Spent the day trying to get my site to look a bit better. Was having so many issues where the CSS changes I made were not registering on my HTML pages. The reason: Sublime was saving my .css file somewhere else and not where I was linking my html.

GAAAAAAAAH!

So yea, that was my day today.

Project Day 5 - pt 2

So, Pinterest was fun. But, I left wondering what I'm going to do after Hackbright. Where am I going to work? Oh good lord, Will I even be successful in this?

Ugh...

Project Time Day 5

I can't concentrate. I got to Hackbright early.  I ate mac and cheese(my staple these days), drank coffee, looked at code briefly and went back to surfing the net.

Read a summary of The Time of the Doctor and realized that I really miss a lot when watching TV. I should stop multi-tasking. I also miss a lot when I read. I guess I just don't read things deeply enough.

Yesterday, I realized that I have complete blank spots when it comes to the lectures I've heard and the activities I've done here at Hackbright. I remember doing exercises and I know that I took notes during lectures. However, I have no true memory of any of them.

I did go back over one of the exercises (or the start of one). I can do the exercises with some degree of confidence, so the knowledge must be there. But, I don't have a memory I can grasp and the connections between things are not truly visible to me.

Part of it must be the whole half-asleep or sleep deprived thing I was experiencing during the instruction period at Hackbright. Actually, I think that the lack of sleep is the main reason why I don't remember anything and that the exercises we did helped contribute to some of the "muscle memory" that exists. Going over them again will help me actually remember. I hope.

Today, we have a field trip to Pinterest. I never understood or really used Pinterest. And I don't want to brag but I'm going to. I usually can come up with enough ideas that I don't need to look at Pinterest for them.

Ah well, it will be interesting to see. Maybe I'll get the 'point' of it all.

Project Time Day 4

Not much to really report today. I went through my HTML/CSS book... the HTML part and was able to set up a bunch of pages. I bet most of them go away by the time I'm done, but well... I'm more comfortable with it.

And I'm still making mistakes with HTML. Silly, stupid mistakes... like setting my route to the wrong page so of course I get a "Method POST not allowed on this URL" message. Ugh... HTML is the bane of my existence right now.

But, that's ok. Tomorrow will be my Jinja day, a field trip to Pinterest (maybe I'll finally understand why the hell Pinterest is so popular, and end the evening with a movie and pizza night.

Oh, after losing weight at the beginning of Hackbright, now I'm gaining. Bleah... Not good. I need to start exercising or something.

Grrrr....

Project Day 3 - what I learned

Keep your JavaScript console open so you can see errors... 405 errors usually mean there's a problem in the app.route, not the function... match your stupid single quotation marks and don't have a random double quote in there...

HTML is written. HTML is giving me problems.

AngularJS is cool, but I can't really stop and try to learn that too. Maybe later. Plus, I want to get a handle on JQuery and AJAX because that is probably what is commonly used out there for now.

Also, I really like working in databases...

Project Day 3 - meh

Today, I wasn't as productive as I was yesterday. Today, I spent most of the morning figuring out how to use dictionaries in Python (yes, I forgot a lot) and kept having this nagging feeling that I didn't need to use dictionaries to add components to my recipes...

But, on the other hand, I found out that my relationships work in my data tables. I just didn't know how to request that info.

So, now I have to do what I was avoiding. Using Ajax and Jquery and JavaScript to get my recipe components into my database. I'm trying not to freak out as I'm really weak in understanding this area.

I looked at AngularJS which might be my savior, but I really think I need to learn how to do the AJAX crap. Yes, get 'comfortable' with something I'm not and then work on something easier.

Bleah.

It's all good. I just wasted a day. I have two more hours before I go home. I need to squish some clay and get my mugs to the studio to be fired. Trying not to freak or anything. It'll be fine, I'm sure.

Project Day 2, part 2

Katie, my lovely advisor, said to keep a journal, so I'm going to update this blog a lot over the next few weeks.

After getting my database read in and walking around a lot, I tackled writing a controller script so I can eventually add recipes to what I have right now.

To start, I decided to see if I could even get information from my databases. First up was getting the user name from the list of users based on a user ID... check! Got that one in one go. SQLAlchemy with a get (user_id) request. And I hard-coded my user_id... eventually, that will be part of the log in.

Next up was getting a list of recipes submitted by that user (this will help when I get the user specific page going). Well, this one took a bit more doing, but it was essentially an SQLAlchemy request with an "all()" request. Also, I wanted to show off what the names were, not an ID that wouldn't give anyone any info. Well, got that one going pretty well and pretty easily.

Step 3, get the components of each recipe. This one took a bit of doing because the chemical names were referenced as an id in the components. So, I had to start writing the getComponents function. Stop. And then write the getChemicalNameByID function.

Also, I had to stop and adjust my variable names... too many "user_id" variables running about. So, the ones in the controller script because "userID" or "chemID" and what not.

After a few boo boos, where I was getting the wrong names (yes, there's a difference between comp.id and comp.chem_id... one is the component ID number and the other is the component chemical id... totally different numbers!

Well, once I got that fixed, I was able to go back and get the getComponents function to work and now my controller script is happy!

BUT... not done yet haha. I need to see how to add a new recipe. Which is a pain in the ass. I mean. It's easy to add a new recipe because it only has the attributes of id, user_id and recipe_name. But, getting the right components in there is going to be the fun part.

First up, get chem_id from chem_name... Functions are fun!

HB Project Day 2

The most important thing I learned today: One cannot get information... like a piece of data in a list, if the original data file, the csv, is empty. One will get an out of range error.

Basically, I created the .csv file at the start of creating my data file and forgot to save it after I filled in all the data.

Today's success: my model.py is happy! I got my data tables filled up and now I have to test the relationships between them and I need to try to get a page set up so a user can add new recipes.

That part is sort of overwhelming, so I walked... I took a walk up and down the street, three times. And I tried on a pair of boots. Namely, these. I like them. I want them. When I graduate from Hackbright, I am going to get them.

Ok, a nap is what I would like to have. Instead, I'm going to surf the net a bit more and then try to do the whole testing and adding items to the recipe table/component table and such. Maybe I'll add a new user too.

Good times.

Hackbright, Project time, Day 1 - yes, we're in week 6

Ok, so I had a plan on what I was going to do/work on each week and almost down to each day for the first week. BUT, my dear advisor, Katie, suggested that I not do what I thought I should do and do something else instead. Le sigh... and so it goes. Haha... oh well.

Today, I mostly worked on database/schema stuff. Getting the idea of what the tables should hold, what each table should have as an attribute, how each table is connected to other tables... all done on glorious paper. I even took a break around noon to go to Walgreen's to buy graph paper and some highlighters. Plus, I couldn't resist write-on post-it book mark thingies. Talk about fun. I made my second Kanban board too. Pictures of that later this week.

Julie came over today and asked me about math stuff... dot products, you know... stuff I haven't thought about in over 30 years. Still, it was cool to talk about it and to discuss other ways of approaching her problem.

Oh, my issue for today with programming. I got my data tables set up, but for some reason, I couldn't get the stupid things to read into a database. So, I left Hackbright and went home. Problem #1 was that I didn't have it committed to a session(figured out this in the bathroom visit prior to leaving Hackbright). Problem #2 was that I was scanning the ratings exercise readme instead of actually reading it. So, I wasn't quite comprehending what I needed to. So hard to concentrate sometimes. I think I need to sit somewhere else tomorrow. Also, it was at the end of the day (Excuses, excuses). Problem #3, I have no idea why, but I deleted all my .db files, revised, double checked and checked my code again and again. Re-ran things according to the readme and combining it with later parts of the exercise. Magically, it worked. I have no idea why.

Next up, getting some data for recipes and users and components.

Oh, in getting my data tables set up, I added an extra one in that was completely unnecessary. It's a convoluted sense of logic that I was trying to work through and like always, I was making things more difficult that I needed to. Fortunately, Joel was there to stop me from going to far down the rabbit hole and it got all squared away.

Tomorrow, writing data tables for the above classes (recipes, users, components). Testing the hell out of those and then maybe getting them onto a web page... the main page of my glaze calculator.

I fully expect my emotions to be on a roller coaster ride, screaming along side my confidence.

Hackbright Academy... Project Time has come!

I'm quite excited about this. It is kind of cool to see a idea come to fruition. I mean, I had this idea for an online glaze calculator back in January. And now, I'm finally going to make it.

Today, I looked at the online glaze calculator that exists. I mostly wanted to see how he made the fields with the chemicals. Basically, he programmed it all in HTML with a bit of JavaScript. I haven't created an account, so I have no idea what that looks like. I'm ok not knowing for now. At any rate, it's pretty ugly code. Can I just say, "OMG! I can read code! I can understand what is going on here. Holy Crap! I've learned something!"???

So, I'm pretty happy about that. I'm also pretty happy that I've gotten quite a few of my errands/chores done today. It's not all done, but mostly done. Tomorrow will be a JavaScript fun time. Mostly, I will be working on the game programming and see if I can program a quick little game. We shall see.

The poopy part of today is that I woke up feeling like I have a cold. Coughing, funky throat, chest congestion and some nose congestion. Stayed in bed pretty late. Bleah. I still feel pretty crappy.

Oh, I did a presentation on image formats and a bit about compression. It went pretty well and it was fun. I got a nice reaction of my Hail Ubermelon image. Fun times.

Hackbright Week 5

Field trip to Twilio today. It was fun and really cool to see the inside of a big successful company.

I'm kind of at the point that I'm not really keen on HTML or CSS or JSON or any of the front end stuff. I'm trying to stay open to it, but I just don't find the same level of interest in it as I did with OOP. Perhaps it's because I'm just not as familiar with any of the aforementioned languages. But, I don't find them very fun or very logical.

I was told that AJAX and JavaScript and HTML are all basically hacks. (This was from a programmer. I think he works in Java). I'm trying to stay opened minded about them, but I just don't care for them at all. They seem ridiculously complicated and kind of stupid... maybe just not as clean.

Insight for the week or this term... Humility was it the last time. This time, it is still humility and acceptance. I was used to being at the top of my class or towards the top, but then I went to UCLA and wasn't at the top. I got used to being towards the top again at Ai and in other places. Here at Hackbright, I'm in the middle toward the bottom. Not the very bottom, but definitely not at the top. And quite frankly, I'm ok with that. I get annoyed when a friend might lump me at the bottom, but it's kind of true as I'm not quite getting everything.

When they told me at the beginning not to get competitive, I agreed with that. I just didn't expect to be so slow in picking stuff up. I'm pretty sure it's because I'm still a noob when it comes to programming, and I'll get it, but right now, it's slow going. I think that when people tell you not to become competitive, they put it in the perspective that you shouldn't look down on your fellow cohort members. I think you should also include yourself in that group. Don't look down on yourself if you are not getting it as fast as others. Don't think that you're a dumbass because you're not getting the script to work. It's experience and learning more syntax. Making the connections between words/braces/curly braces/brackets and such.

I'm looking forward to next week. I think that a lot of the issues of understanding that I have right now will get cleared up when I'm working on my own project. I'll have a personal stake in it. As many of my programmer friends have told me, "Having a project is the best way to learn how to program." Right now, I have enough knowledge to be dangerous, but not efficiently dangerous. Hopefully, I'll become efficiently dangerous during project time.

Hackbright Week 4 day 2... no, I can't remember the actual day number

So, I'm going by week and day instead. Don't judge me!

Today was one of those days at Hackbright. Yesterday, I felt on top of the world. Today, I want to bang my head against the table...

JQuery, AJAX... they can both just bite me... well, maybe more AJAX than JQuery... Actually, I like JQuery... I need to know more! I need to learn more! GAAAAAH!

My partner and I got stuck on this one problem for three hours. THREE hours... the problem? AJAX's asynchronous sending and retrieving of data and one set of parentheses... If we didn't put the damn parentheses in the stupid line, we would have been just fine, but nooooooo, we put them there and it wouldn't freaking work.

BLEAAAAAAAAH!

It was definitely one of these moments when Katie, our lovely T.A. came over and explained that to us:

I love this gif, but I'm not fond of the way I look. Not happy with the line. I think I'll redraw it.

Tomorrow is a study hall. No, I'm not going to redraw my gif tomorrow (oh jeez, I see how my laptop got cut off there... grrrr) during study hall. It might happen tomorrow night. Using Flash. And maybe using Queelie, a character I came up with while at art school... Hmmm... also looks like my body got bigger too... gah, I'm so critical of myself!

Oh, what I will work on tomorrow is two things: getting my data into a database and messing around with it with sqlite3 and getting my Flask application for GlazeHub going... yes, I'm going to use the UberMelon CSS. Especially the nav bar.

Just going to end with another:

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

Hackbright... the start of week 4

I can't believe that I'm done with 3 weeks. This is crazy! I've seemed to have learned a lot, but can't remember crap from the previous week. Also, remembering which type of syntax goes where... good lord.

Today, we worked in Python, HTML, Flask and Jinja2... yes... 4 different syntaxes right there all working together or not. Oh and don't forget to throw in a bit of SQLite3 too...

At least today I had a partner who wasn't too far ahead of me. She is much more confident typing out the code where I still freeze. However, I was able to figure out some of the key points of logic as to why our code wasn't working or what was causing issues. AND for once, I was able to get through the entire exercise early! We were finished by 5:11, got a code review from the awesome Joel who said that our code was basically good, but he gave us some style suggestions. We fixed our code up as per his suggestions and that took us til 6pm almost exactly. It was a great feeling to finish!

This whole experience has really been great for me. In the past few years, I've noticed how hard I find it to ask for help or to be wrong. Hackbright has taught me humility. It's OK to not be right all the time and to be able to ask for help. I may not be a great or even good programmer by the end of all this, but I'll be decent and I'll be able to figure out how to find the answers to my questions or puzzles.

On Wednesday, we shall have a study day. I'm going to keep going through my JavaScript book and try to get this into my head.

I am determined to get JS and HTML to work together!!!

Hackbright Academy - End of Week 3

There are simply too many things to learn. But that is ok. Guess that will make me a lifelong learner? Whatever that means.

So we covered SQL, HTML, CSS and JavaScript this week. The good news is that I can now read the inspect element and source code of a page and puzzle it out. The bad news is that there is so much more to know about Javascript than is possible to learn in one day of lecture and one study day.

I started reading my 3d game programming book that teaches JavaScript, but it won't teach me how to get Javascript and HTML talking properly. So, I ended up going to Barnes and Noble and plunking down nearly $100 for two books. The crap part is that if I bought the book they had in stock at Amazon instead, I would have saved about $14. But, I would have had to wait. So, it's all good and I'll be reading up on JavaScript for the next few nights.

As a language, I don't find it all that daunting. It's just learning all the tricks to get it to modify the DOM (Document Object Model) that will occupy most of my attention.

Today was a study hall day. I figured out two of the three parts of our last lesson. Got help on the third from Wendy. In turn, I helped her with one that she was working on. No, I didn't tell her the exact answer, just pointed out what I learned after a rather extensive Google crawl on "JavaScript getElementsByName" and some other random words that appeared in the exercise. The key point was that getElementsByName returns an array and it helps to get a specific item from said array in order to change an image. Not sure why yet... maybe the book will help.

Instead of reading up on anything or doing some of the exercises again, I decided to start building up some of my glaze calculator app. I started yesterday with just hard coding a recipe and feeding the numbers into a function to get the kilos. Today, I added some data requests from the user, created a dictionary to hold the name of the ingredient and its volume percentage and got that data manipulated by the kilo function (dividing the percentage by 100 and then multiplying by 1000). I hope to update the code to test if the weight is given as a percentage or by a decimal... you know... you can't trust users. I also have to start adding classes to some of the functions. Time to go review that game we worked on. Also have to try making up the logo. Can't decide between some cute wriggly insect or a mechanical/tech-y looking G with dangly dongly bits...

Tonight, I fully intended to do some clay work for that art show in December. Instead, I came upstairs, ate bad food, finished a loom knitting project (sweater for my parents' kitten!), made one of my cats model said sweater and watched Quickdraw on Hulu.

I'm determined to go to sleep shortly and get up early. Tomorrow, I definitely have to work on my latest clay project. I also have to meet with my third mentor, go to Clay Planet to take photos of some glaze samples (and post) and also make some tags for Julie at Steepers... Yes, I can do it all!

I am determined. I shall post tomorrow to see if I actually get it all done.

Hackbright... Javascript... pain and pleasure!

A pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, orders his drink and settles in. The bartender looks over the pirate and is quite impressed because the pirate has everything: the tricorn hat, the peg leg, even the parrot. But something is off. Finally, the bartender asks, "Sir, I'm really digging what you're wearing. But, I gotta ask. What is with the steering wheel in your pants?

The pirate responds, "Aaaaargh, it's driving me nuts!"

Thank you, Erika for that joke. I paraphrased.

Ok, for most of the day, I was kind of on fire. I understood what we were doing. Javascript seemed easy... And I was exceptionally pleased to see the return of curly braces surround parts of a function, if statement, for loop, while loop AND semi-colons! Yes, it's these bits of punctuation and whatever designation curly braces are that make me happy.

I even told my advisor, Katie, that I was having a great time. I was confident and just really pleased.

And then, I tried to do exercise 5. I cannot get the html file and the javascript file to work together well. I'm missing something major. And I honestly do not know what it is I'm missing. I am so very frustrated and annoyed. I even took to twitter to complain... And facebook.

I'm trying to figure it out now and I just can't seem to get it to work. I keep getting null objects. WHY?????

Here's a purple dragon for you... yes, it's just the same as the other dragons, but he's purple and he's my new Github avatar.

oh, at least I can now read the HTML code that drives what content I show in this blog... Small victories.

Hackbright... Week 3, not sure which day... I lose track

Last night, I got to meet two of my three mentors. Emily and Niranjani are great! Emily is a Hackbright alum and she knows what I'm going through right now. Niranjani is an engineer with an MS. My goodness, I feel so... uneducated? Not sure if that is quite the right word. Both are very nice and very supportive. I hope to gain a lot of wisdom from them both.

The past few days, we've been covering CSS and HTML. Both are much easier to 'learn' compared to Python and SQL. They just have their quirks in how to make them do what you want them to do. However, I am finding both far less confusing and far less frustrating than oh... dictionaries in Python. Which I really need to review again.

Javascript is up next. It seems relatively interesting/easy/probably my cluelessness is making me think it's easy... However, it's not doing something that I think it should do and I have no idea why it isn't working... I think I should go to sleep and figure it out tomorrow... in fact, that is what I shall do.

In talking with my fellow Hackbrighters and with Emily, I'm finding an interesting commonality. It seems that before Hackbright, a number of us could operate on 4-5 hours of sleep and still make it through our work days. However, at Hackbright that is not the case at all. We need a lot more sleep. I think a lot of us were bored and really needed to find something to get our minds stimulated. I do worry that I'm going to need more and more stimulation, but hopefully, it's not as drug addict seeming as it kind of feels. Interesting... to need more and more mental stimulation.

One thing I'm worried about is that I'm not feeling the same stress as some of my fellows because I know the application that I want to make. Although my application may not be the most appealing to companies, but I do have a market for it. Not sure I'll be able to make money from it... maybe from ads haha...

I am stressed though. My chin has a ton of zits on it as proof of my stress. And it's after midnight... yeah.. still not doing well on the sleeping thing...

Hackbright Day11 - the glory of databases and SQL (lite)

First of all, Joel Burton is an awesome teacher. I really look forward to his lectures. They are informative and instructional. He can make daunting topics much more approachable.

Today, we started to learn about databases and SQL. I'm actually enjoying writing up queries to the database. First OOP and now database queries... it's kind of amazing that I am finding such things interesting and fun. Crazy.

I'm still having issues with dictionaries. I feel like my level of comfort is a week off. By that, I mean that the week I feel comfortable with them a week after they are presented. Probably because I'm working with them or have worked with them more. Still going through Skill2. I have most of it right. I'm now trying to do the extra credit.

Oh, and I've signed up to do a talk about Image Formats and Compression. My advisor, Katie, thought it best that I talk to Christian about image formats as a lightning talk. So, I approached him and he unloaded a ton of information on me. What do I remember? Well, something about Fourier Transforms and how they are used to compress JPG images. Honestly, I need to know more about the technical aspects of image compression. I know what looks good/bad. Now, I can explain why.

Ok, it's 12:30 a.m. I really need to go to bed/sleep earlier.

One more thing, I had my first coding dream this morning... it was a crossover with Doctor Who too. Guess we know what is on my mind!

And I had to spray the clay for the Bene Gesserit sculpture. I just don't have the time to work on it during the week!

Friday. I shall come home, feed the cats and work on that sculpture Friday night and Saturday. I must get it done! Also, I need to glaze my latest Cthulhu mugs. I can do it all! Really, I can!

Must remember:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

HB Week 3

Q:  What did the 0 say to the 8?

A:  Nice belt!

So, tomorrow starts week 3 of Hackbright Academy. We're going to leave Python behind and go over databases, java script and more. I'm looking forward to that. But, in the mean time, I'm going to freak out that I am having a hell of a time figuring out how to deal with the skills 2 exercises. I mean, it took forever for me to figure out the first one!

I don't know if I need more time to just write the code and get the muscle memory for dictionaries or I just don't get how to do it. Sometimes, I feel like I'm randomly adding square brackets or parentheses and praying one will work.

Oh, and in going over the skills exercises from week 1, I feel ok but I keep forgetting the basic things like... oh, calling the function so the script actually works.

Sigh...

Ok, here's a list of things I get:

for loops
the concept of Object Oriented Programming
the idea of classes
modularity

I'm not going to write a list of what I don't get as that would take way too much space. Plus, I'm not sure I even remember what I don't get.

On a positive note though, I got to see some code that a friend's husband is writing to help out his brother. The code was written in Python and I actually understood what was written there. Maybe not all the super long lines of code, but for the most part, I understood the structure. I also got to see some javascript. It looks similar but not. A lot of declaration of variables. I like that. That seems familiar.

Ok, I'm going to work on the exercises till 11pm and then go to sleep.

I am not going to panic. I am not going to freak out. I can do this!

HB Day 9 - Slightly more confident, but maybe that's because of the assignment

Q:  How can you tell if a computer scientist is an extrovert?
 A: He's the one looking at your shoes instead of his (or her!) own

Chuckle chuckle, right? No? OK haha

So, it's Thursday night and after 9. I got home around 8:45 or so? Not sure. But, I did stop by the pottery studio tonight to pick up some bowls. One was good. The other... well, it's going to Clay Planet for fixing up. Still, I didn't really want to go to the studio tonight. I just wanted to come home and get to fixing up some code.

Can we say that my obsessive nature has finally kicked in? Yes. Yes, we can. I was up til midnight last night trying to get some code to work (Markov Chains!). Tonight, I should try to get to bed earlier.

Well, why am I slightly more confident when a few days ago I was wondering if I'd ever get it? I think it's because I'm finding a bit more success with our assignments. We're currently working on a game which is a lot of fun and there is a great deal of room for creativity. I even got to make some sprites.

Yes, that is poo on the side there. I could have made the shadows a bit lighter, but naaaah... that's not the point here.

At any rate, my partner and I have been having some success in getting our game to work. You can either scare off a dragon or get killed by it... thus, the ashes, poop and frozen girl.

Oh, we've been covering classes and object oriented programming these past few days. I like these. I understand them. Now, I need to go through our code for our dragons and try to make them a bit more efficient or polymorphic.

Except, I want to get my twitter Markov chain bot working first... well, the Markov bit. Twitter can happen tomorrow.

HB Day 7 - Settling in

So, Day 5 was a study day. It was good and a bit more relaxing that the previous four. We celebrated surviving the first week with champagne. Yum yum.

Monday/Day 6 wasn't too bad, but I was uncaffeinated and so very sleepy. It didn't help that the lecture room was darkened and it was warm too. Still, we learned about dictionaries which will be very helpful for my final project. I hope I get approved for that project, the name for which has been decided: Glazehub. Yes, it is like Github, but it's for glazes!

Right now, I'm thinking that Glazehub will have three sections: the Glaze Calculator, the Glaze Price Quote/Order form and the Glaze Search. See, it's a hub for all the pieces. I even have a prototype logo that I will have to create later.

Onto Day 7. Today. Well, I was caffeinated, so I was awake and alert, much more than I've been. I'm finally sleeping well too. Thank goodness. Anyhow, we covered exercise 6 (my partner and I did complete exercise 6 yesterday and exercise 7). During practice, my partner and I finished up exercise 5 which took a lot more time than we expected. If anything, exercise 5 taught us how useful dictionaries are. It's so crazy to know about dictionaries and to be prohibited from using them to solve a problem!

Ok, so what are my concerns. Well, I'm concerned that I'm not retaining enough. I cannot seem to quickly answer questions that a large number of other fellows can. I still freeze when asked what does that piece of code you've written do. Or when I write some code. I think I'm so scared of being wrong that my brain freezes and I just blank. I really need to get over that.

The other thing that I need to get over is my tendency to jump in and just spout off what I think needs to be done regardless of order or whether or not it's really necessary. I need to slow down and really think about things logically and figure out what needs to be done first. I think that this was always one of my problems. I jump around and skip steps, return to them later and such. I know I will get there eventually, but I probably waste a lot of time in between.

Another concern is pair programming. I'm not always keeping up with my partner, so I'm behind and not always understanding what is going on in the code. I'm also kind of clueless when it comes to all the methods that can be used and how to use them. Well, not completely clueless, but my knowledge base feels pretty small. There is so much to learn there and to know. I feel like I've got a limited vocabulary and I'm trying to speak in full sentences with very little luck. Fortunately, I can usually get my point across and figure out why something isn't working if the problem is logic based. Still, it can be very frustrating when I can't get my point across or my partner interrupts my train of thought or makes me get into the nitty gritty right from the start instead of starting with the general and going to the nitty gritty.

I think I need more time to work some of these programs/exercises on my own in order to actually learn what it is I need to know. Unfortunately, there is only so much time in the day and last weekend, my brain was totally fried and I couldn't study anything or try anything til late Sunday night. Maybe it's not more time. I just need to do this for myself. Start to live, breathe and eat coding. I can do that for a little while, but then I know the clay will call me. Or some other art form.

There's a part of me that is telling me, "See! This is why you never did programming back in the day! You don't have the mental capacity to do it!" I'm doing my best to ignore that voice. I'm getting some of what we're learning, just not enough.

But, I'm continuing and it's not that I feel like a failure, I just don't feel confident and successful. I'm hoping in time that that will change. And despite all my worries or that little voice, I'm not discouraged. I am going to keep on going to class and keep on trying to figure it out. I'm sure I'll get there. Just not as fast as others or as I hope. We'll see. I'll keep on writing in this blog and maybe I'll be able to look back one day and see if there's a switch where I have no or little confidence to where I have a ton. Might be interesting to see...

HB Day 4 - getting better

Today, I gave myself permission to not do the homework exactly. I looked it over. I figured out what needs to be done. And that was it. I decided I will leave it to fully do tomorrow and that is just fine. My brain can only handle so much.

Traffic was fine except for the jaywalker in spiked heels who started crossing the road as I was approaching (yes, I had the light) and then she stopped and turned around because she had dropped her scarf and a nice man called her attention to it. She jumped when I honked at her. Good thing I was going slowly, but still... JAYWALKING!... ok, does that count as an interesting story about traffic?

Today, we covered lists in lecture and memory. I've decided that I like lists. I want to learn all I can about them and become and expert on that. I think I'll also see if I can give a lightning talk about memory... the whole iPod playlist story. Good times.

I have to say that although I'm not sleeping well and although I'm frustrated, it's fine. I'm really enjoying the challenge. For the first time in a very, very long time, I'm mentally challenged. Things are not coming easily and that is fine. If it were coming easily, then I would be wondering why I was paying them to teach me this. (Oh yeah, I'm terrible at self study). But it's good and draining and exactly the experience I've been craving. (We'll see how I feel next week.) At any rate, this is good for me despite the traffic and frustrations.

------------

Tonight, I talked with Matt and Isabelle (Nick and Ken) about potential names for my app. Well, the one name that we really liked, Glazebot, has already been taken. Dammit! Glazemonkey was another idea. It's good, but not as much fun as Glazebot...

Glazebunny

Glazebug

Glazenado

Glazetron6000

humbug...

Oh, I think I'll see if I can add another feature to my glaze app. Trolling the internet to find glaze recipes of a specific kind. Cone 5-6, cone 10... copper red...

Glazetroll...

ugh

HB Day 3 - not a bad day

So, I'm not sleeping well. For some reason, I wake up around 3 a.m. and not being able to go back to sleep easily. My hope is that tonight will be much better. This morning, I woke up rather energized because I had to call up Kaiser to check out how I can get coverage. Yes, I should have gotten that done before today or yesterday rather as my coverage ran out yesterday and I didn't get that flu shot I wanted. I think I shall go to Walgreens. Maybe this will teach me to not procrastinate.

Commute. Well, going was not bad as I left around 7:30. I think I shall keep doing that. I made it to Hackbright around 9:20 or so. I was able to call Kaiser's sales people and get some information. I decided on which level of coverage to get. I still needed to figure out if I was going to get some help from Covered California. By the time I got home, I decided to get the Covered California help and apply for Kaiser through the website. Now, I have to wait to see if I get coverage and if I do, then I have to wait til November 1 to actually be covered.

Commute coming home was terrible. Took me a little over two hours. I was soooo tired too! Still, I promise to stop complaining about the commute, unless it takes more than two hours to get there or if there is a particuarly funny or interesting story to tell.

As for the class today, well, I seem to be falling into a pattern. The morning exercise goes really well to the point that I think, "Hey! I got this!" The afternoon exercise just gets frustrating. At least today, I figured out what we had to do, just not how exactly to do it. We got help and were able to get most of it done.

Oh, what was covered? More functions and git and GitHub.  Good times. I need to set up my computer to get GitHub all set up on my computer and to check stuff in. However, I'm so tired right now, I can't think straight.

Hopefully, I can sleep better tonight.

HB Day 2

Originally, I thought that the most frustrating part of my day was going to be the traffic. It took me almost exactly 2 hours to get to the garage today. And I left a few minutes after I left yesterday. Lesson learned. Leave at 7:30, just in case.

I know that it's nice to be able to sleep in til 7 and to start class at 10, but honestly... driving in rush hour traffic sucks.

As for the more frustrating part today, well, the coding. At the start, my partner and I (new partner from yesterday), got the main program done. It was pretty simple, but we did have a few issues. Nothing too bad though. Also, we kind of embarrassed ourselves in front of the instructor but not taking out certain extra bits of 'helper' code we had in the game. However, we got the initial program right.

Learning git was not hard. It was very similar to SVN, so no real problems there.

BUT, after the afternoon lecture, we had to do the extra credit... or the extra parts to our earlier guess game program.  Talk about frustrating! It was so hard to get it right. In fact, I think we only got 1 part of 4 correct.

Pair programming is great, but sometimes, it's really hard to communicate how you are thinking. And it gets even harder and more frustrating as you get more frustrated and tired. By the end of the day, you just want to not think about while loops or conditional statements. I feel bad because I was definitely not explaining my thinking to my partner and I am sure I confused her a lot today.

Some of the other students finished early and were helping us out. This was great! But, once they finished helping us in one area, it was kind of hard to accept more help in other areas. Not because they are students and not teachers, but because I really wanted to try to figure it out for myself and with my partner.

After a long drive home (one hour and 45 minutes or so), I spent the next 2-3 hours working on finishing up the exercises. It's not perfect, but it works.

Well, tomorrow is another day and hopefully, it will be better. It's covering lists and I'm weak with those in terms of remembering all the operations that can be done with them. Fingers crossed my memory engages.

Oh, there was a camera crew there too. My partner and I were filmed and interviewed. All I could think about was the huge zit on my chin and the fact I was probably slouching while being interviewed. I'm sure my mom would be appalled. Sigh...

Hackbright Academy Day 1... Command Line!

Today was my first day of the software engineering fellowship at Hackbright Academy. Traffic on the way up to SF was not that fun. It was at a standstill in some areas, however I left at 7:45 and made it to the site ahead of the 10 am start. Phew! AND I found a parking garage just down the road that is $10 a day! That was my awesome find of the day and possibly the whole week.

The first day was full of those first day jitters, meeting new people, being in an unfamiliar place. But, it was fine. I re-met a number of women I had met at the dinner before. I met a bunch of new people too.  For me, the surprising part is that I am not the only 'old' lady around. I'm not even the oldest. That was a relief and kind of fun.

The ice breaking game was played. I talked to a number of people. I think the one clue involving crackers, mustard, raisins and something else, served with vodka took the prize with me as the most bizarre food eaten. Logistics were covered, the touchy feely tampon talk was given. And then we got into content.

Today, we did 10 mini programming exercises on blockly. Maze #10 was a bitch. My partner and I took a number of tries trying to get the avatar (a block human, astronaut or panda) to the end in the most efficient way possible. But, we kept having issues. Just couldn't get the stupid panda to the end of the maze.

Lunch break. Command line lecture. Back to the maze before working on the command line exercises.

As we were working on the maze, Nick, one of our instructors, mentioned that we didn't have to be efficient, we just needed the avatar to get where it needed to go. Light bulb! We eventually got the code to work in 8 blocks. Yay for us!

Next up, the command line. Both of us had completed the command line exercises waaaay back in the summer, so a lot of it was pretty easy, but there were a few where we both thought, "I don't remember that... why is it doing that?" So, it was a good review.

We finished around 5 or so and had to ask what we should do next. One of the TAs said, "Oh, did you finish #10 on blockly?" We said we had. Then the TA asked, "Did you finish it in 5 blocks of code?"

Holy crap! Really?

Well, we recreated the original code we had, realized that it could be optimized and then started in on the 5 blocks of code. Another TA approached us and gave us a big hint which allowed us to get our 8 blocks down to 5. Yay for us again! (No, I'm not going to spoil the solution for anyone. You all need to figure it out yourselves!).

Following that, we went to project Euler. We zoomed through the first two problems and then got bogged down on the third one. Neither of us could remember how to easily and efficiently factor a huge number. (Both of us are math majors too!). But, since we had about 6 minutes left for our day, we decided to just not deal with it.

On my drive home, I thought about the factorization problem. I think we need to figure out if the factor is prime, first of all. And then if it is a factor of that huge number. There's a bunch of other things too... concatenating a list with the factor as long as it's not already on the list, incrementing to check the next factor and so forth. I'm going to think about it more later... I need to read tonight's homework.

KISS, KISS or Keep It Simple, S...

So, I was studying about strings in Python using How to Think Like A Computer Scientist. They're fairly easy. And yes, there's a lot you can do with string. (I'm still not sure if I really need to understand L-systems when it comes to coding. I did run into issues in following the code and predicting results with that. However, I'm not sure if I am not understanding L-systems or not understanding the code. I think it's the former and will investigate more later.)

Anyhow, at the end of the chapter, there is something about character classifications and the hint to try this out:

So, I put that into the workspace and get:

Ok, so, I need to define the string, right? I define a string and get:

Ummmmm... ok. Maybe the string should be named something else. After all, "string" is kind of a keyword in Python (yes, I know it's actually "str")... Let's rename it to "astring" and make sure to update everything in the print statements otherwise it will tell me that "astring" is undefined...

Hmmm, same error... What the heck is going on here?

Now, in the back of my head, this little thought keeps popping up, "Hey hey. Does your little code bit there actually tell ActiveWindow that it wants to access all the functions or classifications related to strings?"

After a few more tries varying the code, I finally decide to listen to that little thought and...

Result! Yay! Although the successful outcome made me want to:

And yes, I took way too much time drawing and animated this gif...

Taking care of myself

In five days, I will be starting my studies at Hackbright Academy. I am excited and stressed worried and confident. As ever, I am a mass of contradictions.

I'm confident that I will understand whatever code that they spread out before me. I am worried that I am still very weak in writing actual code. I am confident that I will learn this writing of code fairly well, but I am worried that I will be behind everyone else.

So, if I am worried and stressed about all this, why did I not study at all today? Why did I spend the time reading a book instead of poring over more Python?

The last two weeks haven't been exactly restful as I had hoped. Nor have they been as productive as I had hoped. And with both, I have been feeling extremely guilty. Which then leads towards stress and depression. Not the horrible, needs medication depression, but the type that requires a lot more sleep. Naps... naps are great. But, I've been taking more of them than usual.

Back to the book. In the past two weeks, I've been re-reading some of the Dune novels by Frank Herbert. Part of it is because I'm creating a piece of clay art based on the books for a show in December (have to be done by November!). The other part is that I've really missed reading. In re-reading both Heretics of Dune and Chapterhouse Dune, I have realized that there was a lot I missed when I first read both books. It's refreshing to get new details in a familiar story. I also feel like I've been recharging myself, revisiting old pleasures.

And I think that is why I allowed myself to be distracted into reading a book all day today. I don't think I realized how much my previous job had drained me mentally, emotionally and physically. I spent so much time distracting myself from the stress of that job with other work, that I never really just sat and enjoyed some time to do what I wanted to do. I always had this project to complete or that piece of art to finish.  This past week, I was rearranging my place, getting ready for a sale, selling at a sale and then trying to recover from a full weekend on my feet for very little profit. I tried to spend Monday and Tuesday in some semblance of work/study but didn't do so well at that. Today, I got up and got ready to do some studying, but managed to play some games, read my book and realize at noon or so that I was really exhausted and needed more sleep.

Post-nap, I decided to read, to clean my sink and then make some dinner. Somewhere in there, I gave myself permission to just read the book. To relax.

I think I forget to take care of myself like this.

Tomorrow, I will study my butt off.

Study study study... no, not really

I still haven't started studying or continued to study. Hackbright starts in less than two weeks. I'm distracted by a pottery sale which means I'm trying to get a bunch of last minute pieces done. The fact that my condo is a mess and I'm at the point where I just have to get it clean means I'm going nuts there. I have paintings to finish, cat beds to sew, blogs to update.

When am I supposed to rest?

I feel guilty that I'm not working. I am not sleeping well (up til 2am, waking up at 6 am). I'm not feeling 100% healthy and I'm well and truly exhausted. I'm worried that I will catch a cold as that always seems to happen once I stop moving or being supremely busy.

Well, one thing I have accomplished is to rearrange my front room. It's got a lot more stuff in it now and it's much more cozy? Or is that crowded. I can't decide.

Oh, and I haven't gone to the gym and I ate at McDonald's for dinner tonight...

I did learn how to change an outlet today, so that's one positive thing. And I've decided to change one of my switches to a normal switch instead of this whole master control for the light and for the fan.

Slowly, but surely, I shall get all the things I want to do done. I just need to organize my thoughts.

Very discombobulated and disjointed in my writing.

It's all good. I shall be able to get it all together soon.

A few thoughts...

I am behind on studying Python. On the one hand, some of the info is repetitive. I mean, how many times can one read about a for loop? On the other hand, I forgot how to ask for input. I think I need to be more consistent in my studying so I will remember.

So, what have I been doing instead of studying Python? Pottery. I am taking part in a sale a week before I start Hackbright, so I need to get some work done, product made for that sale.

And I have to load kilns so people can get their finished work back. Honestly, I'm looking forward to 9/22 when I'll be taking a break from pottery and focusing on coding.

The other night, I came home and started glazing some pots. As my brush moved, I thought, "This is great! I came home and had stuff to do!" After a few minutes, I thought, "Wow... wonder what it'd be like to come home and do absolutely nothing."

I always seem to be pulled in two different directions. The happiness of having things to do, a project to work on and the idea that relaxing or doing nothing is a good thing. If I have too many things to do, I look forward to when they will be all done and I can relax. If I have nothing to do, I feel guilty that I have nothing to do.

A few more weeks of craziness and then the intensity will start. I really must try to sneak in a few days of doing nothing before Hackbright starts.

First Hackbright dinner/event

I have decided to blog about my Hackbright experience here on this blog rather than start a new one. After all, this blog is my journey to 'freedom' and Hackbright is definitely part of that journey.

Tonight, I attended my first Hackbright event and I met a bunch of new people, including people from my cohort. Although I felt those jittery nerves as I waited in line to check in... you know, being alone, not knowing anyone, having to meet new people... those nerves. In the end, it wasn't too bad and it was fun to meet the women I will be working with for 10 weeks in the autumn.

It was also fun and inspiring to see the projects that the summer cohort created. Some of the apps were amazing and just had so much depth. Hope my project goes as well as theirs.

I met one woman who was a special education teacher for 7 years. Props to her! But she told me how she is a very confident person, and the first couple weeks were pretty easy. However, by week 3, that's when it all hit the fan. Everyone feels like they are the slowest one. Everyone feels like they are holding others back. Everyone feels doubt about whether or not they are ever going to get the hang of coding.

So, that's something I have to look forward to.

As for the pre-work/studying, I had to go back and review all the lessons I read/exercises I did for Learn Python the Hard Way. After taking a month off, I couldn't remember important details. Still going through them, but things are starting to stick.

I've also started going through How to Think Like a Computer Scientist. I'm actually enjoying this site a lot more than the previous one. I feel like I am learning more. Also, the exercises make me think harder and actually write code rather than just retyping what the author wrote. Still, I think I would have been lost if I started out with the latter. I was half lost reading the intro page on How to think like a Computer Scientist.

At any rate, I'm looking forward to learning more and to getting things together for my app. Time to start designing a logo!

A New Direction

So, about a month ago, I applied for a software engineering fellowship at Hackbright Academy. Now, why did I do this when I'm an artist?

Well, let's go back many years ago to my first degree. You see, I have a B.S. in Mathematics with a Specialization in Computing from UCLA. The Specialization in Computing was the math department's way of saying 'minor'. All this meant was that I took a few classes in programming: Pascal, C, Assembly. And back then, none of the classes made sense to me. I mean, it partially did, but I never figured out how to apply what I learned. It wasn't until I had my first iPod that I figured out how useful pointers to memory locations in lists were.

So, for years and years, I thought of myself as someone who could use software very well, but not much good when it came to the nuts and bolts of programming. Until I taught myself some basic HTML... Until I took a few scripting classes and realized that programming was starting to make sense to me. Suddenly, I started regretting not learning more programming or sticking with it all those years ago.

Now, I did think to myself that it was too late. I'm over 40. What am I doing thinking of changing careers again (I have had many different jobs in the past 20 years or so)? And besides, I really don't have the time nor the patience to sit through a college class and get another degree (I have two Bachelors of Science already.)

I tried taking a few online programming classes, but they weren't all that satisfying. One was so bad that I didn't even finish. But, I had ideas of applications I wanted to write (not surprisingly for pottery). I just had no idea how to create the application.

So, there I was, hating my job and bored too. Not really able to save enough money and not sure how to get out. I did apply for new jobs but that was going nowhere. And, I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a digital artist anymore. Yes, I love art, but I am really sick of virtual goods. And honestly, I'm not spending enough time trying to build an Empower Network team.

What was I going to do? I was stuck. But then, I learned about Hackbright Academy, a software engineering fellowship/developer bootcamp that could take novices or people who know nothing about programming and turn them into software engineers. In 12 weeks... Yes, I would have to quit my job (if I even got accepted) and yes, it would cost $15,000. BUT, I could more than make up that amount of money with a new job - they have about a 90% job placement rate. And, they only accepted women because they are trying to help bring more women into tech.

I applied. Got interviewed by someone who knew one of my pottery friends. Then, got interviewed by one of the founders (who is 17 years younger than I am... yeesh). And less than a week later, I found out. I got in.

I nearly squealed out loud. I was shaking as I typed instant messages to tell my friends and co-workers the good news. I could barely dial my phone to tell my mom.

And so, come the end of September, I shall be going back to school. I could not be more excited.

They can only say "no"...

So, I applied for a Fellowship today. The likelihood of being accepted is very low, and I could have let self-doubt or the stories of those who were rejected dissuade me from even applying.  But, if I did let them dissuade me, then I would be the one who caused me to fail, not the people in charge of the fellowship program.

How many times have you let yourself fail because you listened to others and didn't take a chance to try something new or something that seems impossible?

So now, I've applied. If I don't get accepted, that is fine. At least I tried. That in itself is a minor victory. If I don't get accepted, then maybe it was not meant to be. I can handle it because it is out of my control.

Here' s my challenge for you today. Try something new. It can be small... like a new coffee flavor or a new route home from work. Take small challenges on and graduate to harder ones once your confidence grows or even before your confidence grows. See what you can do if you just ignore the fear and the doubts of yourself and others.

The Art of Letting Go

No, not the song from the movie. More about letting go of old habits or ideas that hold you back. Recently, I sculpted a fish on a plate that went from this:

to this:

In one day.

To say that I was sad and disappointed would be an understatement. A number of well meaning friends suggested ways that I could save the plate, but in the end, I just didn't want to spend the time to save it or even finish it.

I let it go.

In many respects, this plate has become a metaphor for what I'm going through right now. I worked hard on this plate just like I did to learn the skills for my job and to get my job. I spent lots of time creating it and was quite proud of it just like my day job. However, it started cracking and fell apart. Just like my day job.

Now, I am not yet in a position to just walk away from my job. And part of me still wants a 9-5 job to make ends meet. But, the attitude, the idea that I need to have a day job is starting to show cracks. I know it is time to leave my job - just need a new one to replace it... perhaps Empower is that job. I also know I need to let go of old ideas and embrace something new. I need to let go of what I'm doing and pursue something different.

And that is what I am doing.

The road not taken...

There are a lot of things I love to do outside of work. Aside from working in clay, I also like to take pet portraits. I love animals and that includes snakes and lizards. Sometimes, I think I like animals more than I like people. Check that... most of the time, I like animals more than I like people.

But, that's not the point. Awhile back, I considered doing pet photography for a living. I was somewhat challenged by having to form packages to offer potential clients and trying to figure out how to find clients. You know... work. And somewhere along the way, I figured out that if I did try to do this for a living, I might to start to hate it and the freedom or the happiness that I found taking photos of animals would go away.

And so, I decided on a different path. And that is ok too.

A new hair cut, repaired shoes and a brainstorming session

So, the last few weeks, I have been feeling down. Trapped in the life that I've been leading with no idea how I was going to get out. However, I've been blessed with meeting other Empower affiliates and having great friends who just listen to me complain and who help me brainstorm ways to get out.
After last week's major venting session, I had a good week at work with only a few conversations that gave me a horrible headache.

And I had two great discussions with a few friends. With this internet marketing and all that I'm learning, I'm starting to apply what I've learned to my clay business. And I thought, I'm pretty savvy to the internet and social media. What about those people who could use some help navigating this world? Well, there's a business opportunity. One friend gave me examples of other artists who could use the help. Another set of friends gave me ideas of how much to charge someone to get them set up and how to maintain their sites.

Today, I have been buzzing and feeling positive all day long. For the first time in a very long time, I feel hope. My new hair cut (which is very similar to one I had before), the pari of shoes I bought that were too big, then adjusted, then broken by me again were repaired quickly and pretty cheaply. And just being able to talk to friends over iced green tea. It's been a great day.
Later tonight, I'll get to go see some kittens and then I'll work in clay.

Today has been a good day.

What are you passionate about?

The above is a dragon sculpture I just finished. It still needs to be fired and glazed... oh, did I not mention that I'm a clay artist? I don't think I have. I've been working in clay for about 18 years. Crazy to think about. I tried to make a living off of my clay art, but wasn't quite successful. I was terrible at marketing my art.  And it was in the days before internet marketing.

And so, I went down the path many people do. I got a day job. And yet, I still kept my hands in clay. Why? Well, I tend to go a little crazy if I don't get to work in clay. It is my therapy. On bad days, I can punch and pound a piece of clay, and I can't hurt its feelings. On good days, I can create simple things such as bowls or more complex pieces like the dragon.

I love working in clay. It is my passion and I am not afraid to say it out loud or tell my boss that I much prefer working in clay than what I do for my job. I am prouder and more willing to show off my clay work than what I make for work.

So, how about you? What are you passionate about? Are you afraid to let people know? If so, let's figure out a way to decrease that fear so you can live freely and do what you love to do.

525,600 minutes in a year. How do you measure a year in your life?

I'm a big fan of musicals. One song, "Seasons of Love" from RENT asks the question: 525,600 minutes. How do you measure, measure a year?

Right now, I measure my life in terms of how many months, days, weeks left until my next vacation.

On a day to day basis, I measure my life in terms of my 2 hour commute to work, 8 hours or so of working and a 2 hour one commute home, one or 2 hours of something for myself when I get home (including cleaning, feeding the cats, feeding myself, watching some Empower videos and blogging).

I admit, it's not a great way to measure my life. It's what I have right now. But I know what I'm working toward. One day soon, I shall measure my life in how much art I produce, how much time I spend with my family or friends, how much time I get to spend doing what I dream of doing or how many countries I have visited and places I've seen.

The song say to measure your life in love. I can do that. I will measure my life in doing what I love to do.

Fear

I am a big fan of DUNE by Frank Herbert. This is probably my favorite passage. It's a lesson for everyone despite its science fiction origin.

It's scary to try new things, to do business out of the norm. And it is normal to be scared. However, will you let that fear stop you from taking that first step, from even considering a new direction?

Maybe it would be good to remember the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear. Maybe it would help to recite it out loud... in any situation.

Acknowledge your fear. Let is pass by and through you. Only you will remain.

Who am I and what am I doing here?

Greetings! Well, first off, I'm Marlene. I'm a digital and traditional artist stuck in a dead end job looking for a way out. And that is why I am here.

Awhile ago, I witnessed a friend give up her day job and start traveling the world with her husband. I read a little bit about what they were doing, but honestly, I didn't think about it much. I was too busy with my art commissions and just trying to get enough sleep to get up at 5 am for my job. I was envious though. And I enjoyed watching her adventures and reading about them. She also made a number of videos for her new 'work'. Loved watching those too.

Flash forward to the end of April, and I started talking to my friend, Regina, about what exactly it is she's doing. I also complained about my life and job with the 2 hour commute (one way) and no raise for the past few years.  As I said, my job is basically a dead end. I've maxed out all I can learn there. There's nothing left I can add to my resume. But, right now, I still need that regular paycheck. But in talking to Regina, she said something that really hit me.

"I was surprised that you had a day job. You were alway so into your art."

Why did that hit me? Well, back in November around Thanksgiving, a family member said the same thing.

Now, usually, I'd wait til I got a third person to say that to me in order to really consider this a Sign, but I was so frustrated that day, I decided not to wait.

I signed up with the Empower Network and here I am.

I'm still nervous and a bit of the mindset that I need a 9-5 job in order to be a success, to make ends meet, pay my mortgage, pay my bills and feed myself. However, I can feel my mind starting to change. I'm letting go of old patterns of thought and doing my best to change my beliefs.
I hope you will join me on my journey of change. Because of Regina, I am inspired to be free. And I hope to inspire everyone out there to be free as well.