So, Day 5 was a study day. It was good and a bit more relaxing that the previous four. We celebrated surviving the first week with champagne. Yum yum.
Monday/Day 6 wasn't too bad, but I was uncaffeinated and so very sleepy. It didn't help that the lecture room was darkened and it was warm too. Still, we learned about dictionaries which will be very helpful for my final project. I hope I get approved for that project, the name for which has been decided: Glazehub. Yes, it is like Github, but it's for glazes!
Right now, I'm thinking that Glazehub will have three sections: the Glaze Calculator, the Glaze Price Quote/Order form and the Glaze Search. See, it's a hub for all the pieces. I even have a prototype logo that I will have to create later.
Onto Day 7. Today. Well, I was caffeinated, so I was awake and alert, much more than I've been. I'm finally sleeping well too. Thank goodness. Anyhow, we covered exercise 6 (my partner and I did complete exercise 6 yesterday and exercise 7). During practice, my partner and I finished up exercise 5 which took a lot more time than we expected. If anything, exercise 5 taught us how useful dictionaries are. It's so crazy to know about dictionaries and to be prohibited from using them to solve a problem!
Ok, so what are my concerns. Well, I'm concerned that I'm not retaining enough. I cannot seem to quickly answer questions that a large number of other fellows can. I still freeze when asked what does that piece of code you've written do. Or when I write some code. I think I'm so scared of being wrong that my brain freezes and I just blank. I really need to get over that.
The other thing that I need to get over is my tendency to jump in and just spout off what I think needs to be done regardless of order or whether or not it's really necessary. I need to slow down and really think about things logically and figure out what needs to be done first. I think that this was always one of my problems. I jump around and skip steps, return to them later and such. I know I will get there eventually, but I probably waste a lot of time in between.
Another concern is pair programming. I'm not always keeping up with my partner, so I'm behind and not always understanding what is going on in the code. I'm also kind of clueless when it comes to all the methods that can be used and how to use them. Well, not completely clueless, but my knowledge base feels pretty small. There is so much to learn there and to know. I feel like I've got a limited vocabulary and I'm trying to speak in full sentences with very little luck. Fortunately, I can usually get my point across and figure out why something isn't working if the problem is logic based. Still, it can be very frustrating when I can't get my point across or my partner interrupts my train of thought or makes me get into the nitty gritty right from the start instead of starting with the general and going to the nitty gritty.
I think I need more time to work some of these programs/exercises on my own in order to actually learn what it is I need to know. Unfortunately, there is only so much time in the day and last weekend, my brain was totally fried and I couldn't study anything or try anything til late Sunday night. Maybe it's not more time. I just need to do this for myself. Start to live, breathe and eat coding. I can do that for a little while, but then I know the clay will call me. Or some other art form.
There's a part of me that is telling me, "See! This is why you never did programming back in the day! You don't have the mental capacity to do it!" I'm doing my best to ignore that voice. I'm getting some of what we're learning, just not enough.
But, I'm continuing and it's not that I feel like a failure, I just don't feel confident and successful. I'm hoping in time that that will change. And despite all my worries or that little voice, I'm not discouraged. I am going to keep on going to class and keep on trying to figure it out. I'm sure I'll get there. Just not as fast as others or as I hope. We'll see. I'll keep on writing in this blog and maybe I'll be able to look back one day and see if there's a switch where I have no or little confidence to where I have a ton. Might be interesting to see...
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